It's hard to look in your face while my mind is sweeping me away.

For all that I learn,

all that I've read

and keep

tucked in the ebony hope chest inside my mind:

Rays of ochre light pushing through the unstitched cracks.

In walks him or hims;

And my mouth betrays me with a split tongue

and twists my sense,

my logic to simple puffy clouds

and

pale dreams.

Oh, it's the hateful contradiction of it all

never to lay down

my full hand

(long, graceful yet strong)

I tuck the winner up my sleeve

while the acid butterflies

chew my stomach

and my heart melts in their eyes;

Butter from love

or

a rose tipped blush of inner fears?

of what? I cannot say.