Random thought before bed...

Ok.. So one of the directors I submitted a headshot to wrote me an email saying that he liked me and was considering me for an audition and asked if I could send him more pictures, profiles and full body shots-I usually don't respond to emails like this cause they creep me out, if you wanna see me full body set up an audition but what the hell I sent him some more pictures. Then he sends me this email that-despite his initial "feelings" about me- I do not meet his "vision" of the project. Note to all potential and aspiring directors, I get emails like this all the time and now I am responding in full. Doing the aforementioned correspondence in that manner is the most unprofessional thing I have ever heard of in my life.

If you get a feeling about someone initially you show take time to see them before you decide on your vision. Many, manyyyyyy times in this business you hear stories that the characters that you have strong opinions of can change during the auditioning process. Sometimes what you think works eventually doesn't and you find that a character is totally altered by who you decide to cast. Further more I personally do not like it when directors call me or email when they do not wish to cast me. I have a lot of submissions floating around out there, I am a very busy girl so I don't give a fuck if you are going "another way" believe me if I don't hear from you in say a month I'll know and I'll move on. I know already that you will keep me in mind for other projects if you like me, (it's happened before) all writing me back to tell me in so many words that I am not your cup of tea makes you seem like an immature unprofessional dick-head that likes to take the time out of his "busy" schedule to tell me that I stink. Which in turn makes me damn sure I never want to work with you. Know wonder this "vision" director has had this casting notice out for a week solid, there's probably no one out there that fits it, good luck in the real world to you too man.

I'm Back ya'll

I think I want Tyler Florence! He's so sexy! The Australian(?) guy on Boy meets grill is hot too. Anyway, I took a few days off as you can see to get back into the groove of my life. I was "homeless" last saturday, which was cool at first but then sucked when my feet started to hurt. I stayed the night with my friend and her awesome cat. I love her place, It's in Astoria too.

I closed Richard III on Saturday too. It was a great show and we had an amazing final night. The roles I had were great. I love that I got to do a shakespearian comedy and history/drama back to back and test my chops for both of them. I love working at the ATA but I am super-excited to get back into auditioning. I want to do more film projects since I spent a good two months on stage I want to get back into the swing of film again.

I had an amazing first official non-committed day at home. I went down to the post office and CVS. On my way back I bought some yellow pom-poms -their flowers, and found this really cute hidden away cafe called Freeze Peach on the corner that I never noticed before. Way more amazing then the Starbucks down the street, amazingly priced and portioned. It's like having coffee in your cool basement apartment. I can't wait to hang out there some more maybe get some work done when my apartment drives me nuts.

Hey all...It f**king rains in this city!

Young's Chocolate Stout is the bomb!! My show was rained out tonight after we did the first act in the rain. Pretty exciting! Tomorrow I am semi-homeless cause I have to vacate for 24 hours. I'm a little nervous and a little pissy cause this was so unexpected and it raining outside. I hope it slows down tomorrow, I was thinking of going to the museum of Art or making a trip to Brooklyn or something. I've got to find something in NYC to do for at least 12 hours.

No I don't have to accept that your a racist bastard...

This was meant to be a blog for yesterday but I just got home. I know I've touched on the topic of accepted racism before but whenever I am confronted with it in life it still takes me by surprise and frustrates me to high heaven. To recap, it really bugs me when I am with a group of non-latinos shall we say and someone says out loud "oh yeah I know a Mexican" or "Mexicans are great I used to work with one and he was cool", my personal favorite was back in the day I was having a fight with a boyfriend and I screamed "I bet I am the only Mexican you have ever known in your life!" and he screamed back "That's not true my nannie was Mexican!".

Today I was on that topic with a group of people my age and another woman who was "listening" to our conversation and was talking about how she had been to Acapulco and how she enjoyed Mexican. She found them to be "Primitive" (I am not making this up, she used that word) and "yet with this wonderful sophistication layered over it,(I think she was mistaking them for a Burrito) topped with an ability to work hard (they always through that in there using it like a "no offense" line and well and still know how to have a good time (meaning we make Tequila right)." I don't know if I mentioned this but she was older and white. But, all I could do is stare at her like "Did you really have to open your mouth at all?" And she didn't seem the least concerned that something she had said could have offended me.

It never fails that whenever this happens people tell me "oh she didn't mean it like that" or "It was just a joke." To me, that shit is just not funny. I don't get the joke and I have a low tolerance for ignorant people with no desire to learn that it is wrong. I'm not saying everyone should be overly P.C but give me a break. I don't understand how some people will be so careful not to say anything that might seem offensive to African American people (Even though I do see the backhanded racist stuff the Republican party does to Obama), but will call me a Spic to my face or stretch his eyes out to my Asian friend.
This is wrong we all are on this green kick and loving the earth but we can't even respect our fellow man. Like when Vogue came out with their stupid "Green Issue" and all these chicks were carrying around tote bags that said "not a plastic bag" made by some over-priced designer. Maybe Vogue should put out a "Brown issue" or "Rainbow issue" and all these Backwood mentality/Waspy bastards will learn that it's cool to not talk out of your ass even though you "mean no disrespect." Yeah read my bag it says "It's not cool to call me a Beaner even if that's what your mom calls me!"

Love and Respect people give it and get it.

the Dating Blog

I'm in a new city, a new world, a new life. I must admit the thought of seeing someone while I am out here has dawned on me once or twice. I'm not sure I'm in the stablest position to be in a serious relationship right now but when the inevitable loneliness hits me it's hard not to want to have someone to be there, in "that way". I did make a conscious decision to no longer date the hot messes that I am used to, (Not you dude, relax) and have resolved to be treated right, I know people think wait isn't that a no brainer but there is something about the hot mess that is the "bad boy" that girls are just so attracted to. I'm realizing that if a you realize early on that a person is a mess or "complicated" when you meet them don't bother trying to fix it because the change has to come within the person, your love won't fix it.
Maybe I will start dating again, God Damn, the thought of it scares me right now. I've got to take it slow this time. It feels like this will be the first time I am exploring this, Really dating and not jumping into things. Shit we'll see this blog is making me jittery just writing it... Later y'all

I'm gonna stomp that mouse!

Pizza Pizza

So I just got back from the greatest pizza I've tasted since I've been away from Italy. Shit, Aaron what was it called again? It doesn't matter I know how to find it still. As I was eating I was wondering why it tasted so familiar, then I realized that it tastes exactly like the pizza from Naples, Pretty awesome! I'll be back there for my next pizza fix. Damn good Sangria too. Terribly distracting though because I am constantly on the diet that never ends, That shit just went out the window tonight.
Don't ever start dieting kids it'll drive you crazy for the rest of your life.
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My show apparently wraps this week. HOLY CRAP that was fast. This whole month just flew by. I found a couple of audition notices looking for actors in October so cross your fingers everybody. Fun times Kids fun times.
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I'm looking around at the white walls of my room and I can't wait to paint the crap out of it.

Random thought...

Holy Shit! Travis Barker's plane went down! I wasn't a Blink Fan but I was addicted to the show meet the Barker's. Damn, he's got two little babies and a step daughter. I hope he and DJ AM pull though and My prayers go out to the people that didn't make it and their families. Wow, what a scary tragedy...

Random thought of the day...

I like to think that the lady that hangs out at Westerly all day and whispers "God Bless you" in your ear when you least expect it is an Angel on earth, rather than a fucking lunatic...

Comic Time!

On the plus side the ass smell downstairs has faded! yipee for me!

Method=excuse to be a dickhead!

I'm so sleepy, Shakespeare got no business being this long. Who am I kidding I love this shit. Now if I could just do it on an indoor stage with lights and action like a real girl! That's my main goal right now, however half hearted I look when I am offstage compared to all those crazy method actors working themselves up to ridiculous states of emotion. I don't believe that any craft/art requires you to kill yourself to do it. Can you imagine knitting getting you so worked up it gets you sick? or slapping yourself with paint all over your body as hard as you can so you can "feel the colors"? It sounds stupid cause it is stupid. That's why I don't get method people. In my opinion you have to do it naturally, to a fault, but I don't go for this "working up to it" shit. Especially when it gets violent and loud. (If you have worked backstage and acting you must have already witnessed this at some point) It just alienates the hell out of others.

The worst is is when actors come offstage and lose their nards after some missed cue or whatever bullshit distracts them onstage. If you get distracted by little shiny objects you probably weren't paying much attention anyway. Really people have fun, where else do you get to play pretend as an adult and people come and watch? Do you know how many people auditioned for the part you got? or hinted or dreamed? Be happy and grateful, you could have been one of the many underdogs. Seriously don't act like a jerk off. And for Christsake memorize your lines! There was only one Marlon Brando in this world and industry and there is a reason for that.

*****

Ok., as for the ass smell day 4 there is a fake rose smell whafting up the stairs like someone shot a perfume bomb. So now it doesn't smell of ass but artificial asshole+rose, I should bottle that and mail some scented letters to all my ex's just to let them know I'm thinking of them this holiday season.

*****
P.S. I fucking love Johnny Depp!! It's true it thought you'd like to know that I shamelessly think he is amazing and even in his shit movies he is still awesome to watch and everyone and thing else sucks.

Ass smell going on day 3!!

Thought you might like to know, it still reeks! I thought I'd surprise you all with a vlog but, Youtube takes to fucking long to upload and I got stuff to do today and Blogger only lets you download videos that are I don't know a second long. Better luck next time kids when my patience with life isn't hanging by a thread. Maybe I should do a tequila shot before the show tonight huh?

Don't disturb the Monster under the sink!!

So about a the day before yesterday or so, there was a leak in the apartment that was affecting the downstairs apartments. The landlord came and cut a massive hole in the wall with the plumber so they could reach it and fix it. Problem solved, NOT. Yesterday in the morning I detected the faint smell of ass as I went back and forth down the community stair and by 7 o'clock the ass smell was penetrating through my closed bedroom door. I ended up hermetically sealing the hole my damn self cause God Damn if I was gonna wait for the entire house to smell like sewage. However the apartment downstairs reeks of ass outside the door, flies are collecting and I just saw a roach run under the stove where there is still the faintest whif o' asshole. Jesus I hope the guy didn't come home downstairs and die of the stink, seriously that would be sad, he seems pretty nice.

I fought him and won!!


Seriously, don't move this cardboard.


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On a lighter note my friend Morgan and I made the journey across boroughs to Target. 5 month without it and I forgot how awesome it was. They had a sweet sale on blenders (which I have already Christened with Margarita) that made my day. I had to take a picture of the cart though, there was household products and underwear. We looked like the Desperate Housewives of Astoria.

Comic Time!

Click HERE!

Did anyone else see Tina Fey and Amy Poehler spoof Hilary Clinton and Sarah Palin on SNL? If you didn't you can click this blogs title or go here:
http://perezhilton.com/tv/?videoid=4a7351283919d
It's a Perez Hilton link cause I couldn't find one on you tube that the NBC people haven't taken down, stupid corporations. I'm no big on watching SNL but that was funny as shit!
Yeah, I find Sarah Palin a pretty pathetic choice to represent the American woman in this election. She's such an old school Grandma, complete with the wacky religious & ethical beliefs that change to fit what she is saying and she's a proud gun toting red-neck. Come on all who doesn't want grandma and grandpa kettle in the white house? People get real..

Ch-ch-ch-Chocolate!

So someone commented "what's with you and chocolate?" last blog, well I'll tell you! It all started about two years ago, after college I got really into wine and all the different tastes and complexities and stuff. Then one day I decided that I was fat so I pick up the recent bestselling diet book at the time called french women don't get fat. Much to my delight when the fatty-fat month was over I discovered that the book wasn't a standard follow this diet plan and get thin book but a total food lifestyle change book where you discover and learn how to actually taste your food. You may think well when I put food in my mouth I taste it, after reading this book you'd be surprised. Well flash forward a year or so when I discovered the sequel to that book, A french women for all seasons which had a whole section about chocolate and chocolate tasting. I was so excited to discover the different tastes of chocolate and different cocao percentages. Much like wine the equipment and other factors play into the taste of real chocolate and it fascinates me. I am currently reading the essence of chocolate and making killer PB and Chocolate cookies while I write this, quite exciting, don't you wish you were at my house?!

Random Quote of the day: a lady by the Apple store tells her kid "Yeah I know meat is murder, Hot tasty murder"

We got rained out...

Our show got rained out tonight, Boo... Oh, well, I could actually use the break. So what have I been up too you ask. I've been baking cause, what can you really do when you're house bound and sick. I had a friend tell me that he use's pillsbury crescent rolls to make chocolate croissants so I tried. I wrapped chocolate squares in the store bought rolls (which were kinda hard to figure out, cause they wouldn't unroll like the friggin picture) then I made and egg wash of and egg a bit of sugar and vanilla, wisked it all together, brush it on the rolls generously and sprinkle with sugar, voila instant chocolate fix! They taste okay, next time I will use a sweeter chocolate but I like bittersweet which is what I used. Try it kids...

Remembering...7 years ago

Today marks 7 years since the Tower fell on 9.11. The day outside has been gloomy and dark. I haven't brought myself to watch any news but I was down at the site yesterday. My god it was huge I can't imagine, actually I am too afraid to imagine it. 7 years ago this was the day, in my eyes, where the country began to fall and the President began to fail his people. I hope this upcoming year and years to come brings healing and peace, I can't tell you how wonderful it would be to see the light again...

FUCK fashion yo!

So truth be told I only own one pair of Jeans, Why you may ask because all the jeans I try on in the store either are cut too low (I mean really I just can't get used to wearing pants that, frankly, barely make it over my vagina no matter what magazine I see them in) or are made for those damn girls that never grow into their thighs after their pre-teen years. Seriously is it that hard to fucking find a pair of decent jeans in all of New York?

The pair I was wearing were size 6 Lucky's so I went to century 21 and grabbed a bunch meaning at least 6 pairs from sizes 6 to 12 and not one pair fit right!! I was not about to go to a size 16 cause I damn well know that I am not that size. Granted the majority of them were those fucking skinny jeans which are all you can find right now. Fuck that! this is why I wear so many strange and vintage outfits when you see me on the street, it's not cause I am trendy it's cause nothing goddamn fits! And then now we decided to get all UK but instead of trying to take on the metric system we change the jeans size to 20-35 instead of 0-13, so then your doing the math in your head like an asshole trying to figure out what the hell size you wear. It's not worth it and frankly it leaves me so sad that my fat ass goes outside and eats a big ice cream cone like, "well shit what's the point of I'm never gonna fit into anything anyhow fatty fat fat fat!" (I'm not fat by the way, but if the jeans that I have on fit me perfectly I should only deviate one or two sizes not the end of the rainbow! As logical as that seems.)

Any girls out there know where I can get a pair of jeans that doesn't make me want to swallow laudanum after I leave the store?

Let's all settle this with a big glass of Hemp Milk!

I need to get out more. It's raining like a Mothafucker here. I like New York rain but not when I have to trudge across boroughs through it with my pathetic little umbrella that cost me a fortune. Tonight's our final dress and we open tomorrow. I'm as ready as I'll ever be. There's some good people on this show that I really like working with. I think I've said this before but my favorite scene to do is the Clarence murder scene. If you come to the show stay to watch that. Every night we get more and more into it. I love working with the Shakespearian "language" and as we get better I can hear the words clearly and this has become one of my favorite Shakespearian plays. I don't know about other actors but I don't get much of a grasp on scripts unless I hear them out loud whether I speak it myself or watch the show beforehand. This especially happens to me with Shakespeare.

I made the trek this morning in the rain to whole foods and while I was buying soymilk I noticed that they sell hemp milk. Now I will partake in the drinking of the soy plant, you got me there but Hemp just doesn't strike me as something I should drink even if it's Vanilla flavored. It made me think of that Lewis Black joke how it's Soy Juice cause there's no soy tittie, Where's the Hemp Tittie? HA, eww gross, I'm done....

Still Counts as Mondays post!!

I still have a few minutes left...

Another big idea brought to you by Bettie

I'm thinking of maybe writing another blog strictly on food and restaurants here in NYC. Right now at least because my acting life is a little monotonous being in a show, I'm not saying it's not exciting it's just become a nine to fiver. It'd be a separate blog and more than likely weekly and not daily. There's just so much that I am experiencing culinary-wise in this city that I though you would like to know about.

I'm not rich like some of the other food critics you read are, how they are like, "Well on the upper-east side at a bargin of $90 a plate you can get the [insert fancy french shit here] blah blah tastes splendiforously supercalifragilisically marvelous, pate, fours, gras, caca blah Blah" No, I'd write with my 25 year old brain "I like Kee's Chocolates in Chelsea because they have all kinds of subtle flavors in their truffles and use excellent chocolate preparations. The truffle melts in your mouth slowly and since I had the Jasmine flavored one I could breath flowers through my nose while I ate it. Sounds strange but it was cool. I love it and I only needed one (they're 2.50 each) to be satified which is a record for me."

What do you think? I'd check the place out, I love food but fancy language and haute couture can bother me sometimes. Now for some Ratatouille Pictures...
Who wants some?!



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We open in three days holy shit! I better memorize my last bit of lines, I keep putting it off like a high schooler putting off finals, like oh, this day is never going to come and then it all floods in at once. Oh Lordy, I'll be able to do it though... I've still got to search for what I am going to do for the next two months... Oh yeah I added my Twitter to my blog it's on the right side under my archive section, It's just random thoughts of the day...Peace, Obama '08

Ratatouille and Rehearsal

It's incredible humid today in New York. I went down to Union Square, I wanted to make Ratatouille before I went to rehearsal. The stupid wholefoods paper bag burst because It was so wet from the humidity. It's supposed to rain again today I hope It happens soon so this cloud will go away. I can smell the Ratatouille baking in the kitchen. I used all local ingredients so It should taste pretty awesome. I think I made way too much though, I don't know what I'm gonna do with it all... Anyone want Ratatouille?

Rehearsals are going well, Last night the murderer scene was the best that It has ever been. It got me thinking of the nature of the beast. How you can have this amazing performance that you are so proud of but in the end it is a fleeting moment that can't be relived ever again in the same way. It lives only now in the mind of those few who were there to see it.... I hope we get good audiences this show, even if the play is 3 hours long....

Umm...ok

So someone left a comment that Equus isn't about Fetishism and that Daniel's 19 ok... Well he's still a teenager and he is fixated on horses, and yes I got the whole mix in with religion, and philosophy and the unsatisfied psychiatrist and such but I don't want to give away spoilers on why I believe that it does seem to me to deal with forms of fetishism. Theatre is an art form that is welcome to all kinds of interpretation, what I may see and read won't necessarily be what you interpret. There is no right way to view an piece of art and the wonderful show I saw last night was rich with visuals and emotion. There were parts of the play and the production I saw last night that my interpretation of Daniel's performance makes me see it that way. Even 19 is still younger than me and close enough to the characters age to still have me stand by my opinions. I welcome criticism if it's constructive and not just someone rudely and anonymously telling me that I am wrong. This is my personal blog and thoughts I'm not Perez Hilton or some shit so, please people don't get all hostile and butt hurt with me on this damn thing, it's just my opinion, O.K If you want go watch the play yourself and write your own review on your own blog.

A night at the theatre...

Last night I went to see the invited dress of Equus (It's starts previews tonight) and I was blown away. It was amazing, I had never read or seen the play before. This production was so dark, erotic and slightly disturbing. It's kind of not brainer when I think about it but, I was actually surprised that it was about fetishism. I got to go because my friend and roommate is in the cast. I love watching him onstage. He can make the most vibrant characters effortless. Daniel Radcliffe and Richard Griffiths were great.

Yes, Daniel does get naked with the girl in the last scene. In my eyes Daniel is still just a boy, really didn't he just barely turn 18? He gave off that vibe that you have at that age when you are still just a child about those things. I'm not saying that he came off insecure at all but he still hasn't lost all the awkwardness that comes after your teen years. He's not exactly a man yet but he's not a boy. It made it compelling to watch him in the entire performance, not just the nude scene. The girl was bolder with her nudity but I think she was older playing younger.

The Dancers playing the horses were amazing. They had on these shoes that were horseshoes on 5 inch stilts but they had no heel support, you really have to see them to believe them. They were in brown long sleeve lightweight shirts and brown corduroys and they wore horse masks made out of steel rods whose eyes lit up. The Dancers were all six feet at least and in top condition. The effect was disturbing and erotic. I joked with my friend after the show that I never had a equestrian fetish until now. They were beautiful, you could tell that they studied the movements of the horses and it came across well. They looked like men who embodied the spirit of horses. Gorgeous all of them and haunting, god I wish I could see it again.

I can't stand the republican party

HA! Hypocrites!

I eat whatever I want...

I can't tell you how much it bores me when people talk to me about diets, eat whatever you want y'all, I'm not saying be a total porker but life's too short to eat only salads.

I invent inventive recipes when I am bored...

I had no idea Richard III was sooooo long, holy mother of hell, I'm having fun with it though. Someday I want to play Queen Margaret cause I love her curses monologue... Damn it's too hot to think again, it was 87 degrees and all I see in the store windows are peacoats... Whatever, I'm stuck in limbo between which cooking class I want to take, Chocolate or Mexican food; lets have a vote, I decided to try to cook tequila chicken today but I couldn't find a good recipe so I made one up and it got me pretty buzzed, I found it funny, want the recipe? it was put a chicken breast in a sandwich bag and add equal good sized glugs of lemon juice and tequila then I added tarragon, oregano, salt, pepper, cayan pepper and adobo. Mix it all up and put it in the fridge for about a day then grill it. It's like a shot with poultry. This is what happens when I am left to my own devices too damn long. I did make a killer mocha with Ibarra chocolate the other day though...

If you don't like magazines Bloomingdales isn't for you..

The Show closed on Saturday, It was a good run and an amazing experience. I met some really good people and had fun doing it. I move on now to Richard III, I play three characters in that one mainly boys, and the 2nd murderer. I'm really lucky because the murderer scene is an amazing one...I went to Bloomingdales today, I'd never been there before and people kept telling me that I had to go and check it out. I realized, that place is hella BORING! It's like being in a woman's magazine where everything is way too small and so over priced I didn't even bother touching things. There was a sale going on supposedly but nothing where the signs were, were on sale. I smell tourist trap...I did end up finding a cooking school that has relatively cheap lessons on all kinds of meals and pastries. Which is exciting, Keep me busy until the ending of this show brings me back into the auditioning realm Dun, Duh Dun Dun... That's what's been up with me in these last few days, besides rehearsal...