I speak de Englitch, yo!

Latina, Latin Actress, Mexican girl, Ethnic, Fat, Curvy, Dark, Coconut, all these labels I'm gonna hear will eventually come if they haven't already. It's not like I haven't heard them before now. There's something that has always bothered me about having a stamp on my forehead. Especially with the labels that I have heard in my life half the time it's because I've never felt that I was really any of those. I don't know how to be any of those so I don't get it when I hear, "oh it's cause your latin," or "your too Ethnic looking." I've been pretty lucky out here that these labels haven't come into play much in auditions. 

I can only think of twice when they did, once when I went in for a Puerto Rican role (which was written in a basic white writer tries Latino style) and the casting director asked what I was and I said Mexican-American, he looked all disappointed and said "oh, not Mexican," I was so pissed It's like what the fuck are you talking about don't down play me because I didn't grow up on a rancho or something, this day and age when you are even remotely "ethnic"-American your american experience is different from that of an immigrant, but under no circumstances should it be any less than anyone else's experience: Look at Barack Obama. The second time, I went in for a reading and the side I was given was not the one that was neutral race, it was obviously written for a Jamie Pressely My Name is Earl redneck character, and I asked the director when I went in if they were considering race because clearly it was not written that way. They gave me the standard no of course not answer and I killed the shit out of that reading but I knew that I wouldn't get the role. I was glad however that I spoke up don't waste my fucking time like that.

I don't know about other Actors of Color out there or even people but I find it strange when people see me as an "exotic flower" like the assholes that speak really bad spanish to me when they think their being cute. I kinda don't know how to handle it, don't get me wrong I love being of Mexican decent, I love Mexico and I would never change my last name but when there are soooo many people of different shades and accents and types why am I an original curiosity? It's like "Have you never ventured out of your house before?" Seriously sometimes I get treated like I'm purple-polka dotted. 

Growing up [Insert ethnicity here]-American is such a unique (good or bad) experience here. The best book I have read on it is Barack Obama's. It's weird how you would be born in this county but still live in a totally different world that others won't understand. I don't fault them it's just a fact. I wonder what my children's generation will be like I hope through the experiences that this country goes through in the coming years they won't have live this apart but separate American-Cultural lifestyle that is so much apart from who I am. I do hope some day my future daughter will laugh and say "Why are you an exotic cause of your skin your weird enough as a person."