Black Hole Sun

I don't know what's going on with me tonight. I think the lonely-hearts club bug swept me off my feet again. It's these weird phases that I go through, especially when I am alone for long period of time. This trip to NYC made me really discover what loneliness can feel like. Here I am totally alone, my family and loved ones are far, everyone is usually to busy with their own lives to notice. I don't blame anyone, it's just a fact, people worry about their own problems.

Maybe it's cause I've been single for too damn long. Too busy not being serous and looking for someone that's actually good for me. But it gets lonely in this big place in this big city. I defiantly don't want to move back to CA, I honestly don't miss it as a city. I still find it boring and pointless. I just miss the people that I love and being able to see them everyday. I suppose it's a natural process but it doesn't stop the painful-black-cloud of loneliness and depression. Especially with this rejection filled career. Sometimes I feel so damned forgotten about, even when I know it is just a passing phase.