A poem for love near to touch.

Come my love and keep playing your passionate songs

straight to my sentimental heart.

In the doorway I drift, listening to you sing to yourself.

Lost in the harmony to the song on the radio.

While I pretend its all for me.

The defined arch of your back makes me want to weep

in wishing for all things far away from us,

But oh, so near to touch.

Wouldn't we be a beautiful sight, if all visions came true and I

could sign my name across your heart?

It's hard to look in your face while my mind is sweeping me away.

For all that I learn,

all that I've read

and keep

tucked in the ebony hope chest inside my mind:

Rays of ochre light pushing through the unstitched cracks.

In walks him or hims;

And my mouth betrays me with a split tongue

and twists my sense,

my logic to simple puffy clouds

and

pale dreams.

Oh, it's the hateful contradiction of it all

never to lay down

my full hand

(long, graceful yet strong)

I tuck the winner up my sleeve

while the acid butterflies

chew my stomach

and my heart melts in their eyes;

Butter from love

or

a rose tipped blush of inner fears?

of what? I cannot say.

In lust I hear hello...

You could write my lovers caresses congealed

line by line

on a music playlist.

Crawling

step by step

up my CD

collection,

cracking each

thin plastic jewel case

as I crunch along.

Bass, rhythm and lyric

that was

sometimes

solemnly given me

Now, coursing through

my bone and marrow;

Wings spreading into

Snapping flames,

Feet fanned into the

Chilly waters that drew down

my beloved Buckley,

While I become one more like myself.

A flush brings a glow

O what a sweetened world you'd happen to be

To think that all that is to find, is

taking a taste

to have a hold of me.

I see all of you in the coming of the wake,

and I am the one

who will decide

when to break

and leave you with hairy thoughts of me.

Oh what a dewy balm this summer may bring

By Neptune's purple

and shimmering skin.

With siren's cries, like satellites

on fire.

By minding my topaz mines

eye

and still you'd love

to think you have

a merry hold of me.

11/3/10

The tenderest honeysuckle

Like a princess who deserved her prince,

I was always sweet;

dripping tenderness from my eyes

like honey from a comb.

One day He came and

took from me a small taste

that grew myself

rotten and unseemly.

Taste buds left stuck deep

to all the sap that

dwelled in me.

Another day,

further, when years had gone

by,

lonely,

I cried. Which brought back the buzzing spark

I thought had

forever died.

It filled me full again,

so that I burst!

Cascading, radiating,

all that once was long closed.

All that remained was pure jubilation

from these new tears

that rose.

Revised poetry on a rainy night

Within the give and take

I'm scared of what my actions will bring.
God knows,
I've known you
with such a red raw closeness
that I've now deemed too tender to touch;
So, I've cast all your fires out.
Heavy heart met the sensual wind and fled.

But, still you reside inside
buried deep
where I keep you straight jacketed
Reaching to claw at the walls.
***

The lies I told in the end

There was no fantasy.
The mind never
played our famous melody.
There was no weight tied to your splintered
knee.
Together was all total distraction
Infinitely disillusioned
Incomprehensibly blind.
No union of soul, body and mind
Now far too late to grow into.

Wicked thing to do...

Oh, I play a dangerous game
I toy with my addictions
Go straight for the candy and the drink
Toy with my own emotions, tickle my heart
Smoke the last stick and tease myself by standing by the scent
Commonly denying myself the most uncommon
Until I go straight for it..

No more pep talks

When you step into this light
Your body's not your own
When you step into this light you aren't speaking your own words
Your not even in your own shoes
On this platform they point and pick without repercussion
They try to bend back your smile and keep you as their focus until they are done chewing to the bone
And you have to grin and bear to keep your very soul
I have never been one to be judged easily
To be told what I can and cannot do
My phase into masochism passed
When I gain respect for myself
I no longer understand why I continue to subject myself to tiny little suicides; punishing me for every wrong step
Paper-cut digs
When all I want to do now is to live

Different from the former

It's funny and so typical of me to have such a set plan for a direction to go on and

when I least expect it everything shatters.

I am not quite a chicken with no head yet but I still kind of have no idea what I am doing.

Trying to play things by ear is never something that I was good with.

I am a little scared to be without my safety net. It's nothing I planned for but right now it feels right.

Exciting and new and now I am not sure I want to let it go.

Not sure I want to fall,

yet

I deep down know inevitably always land on my feet

The Poor Broken Hearted

I see the neon lights
The man onstage reminds me of you
The rhythm of your breath and your heart
In the beat of the base
That night so long ago and deep in my memory
Forgive me, I never meant to hurt you
I woke up too late afterward
I thought you were like everyone else
But that just goes to show that we never knew each other
At all