So I work for Stillness?

It's strange, you work and work and audition and audition to get cast in a show; now that I am in one I totally feel like I am slacking the work part. I understand that this is the pay off but it still doesn't get rid of the ants in the pants feeling, like I've got to work! Don't stop now! September auditions are creeping their way onto the casting boards some of them look o.k. We just got our flyers yesterday, I'll post here pretty soon. Let's see, I just saw Brokeback Mountain today, I know like a million years and a dead cast member later. It was really sad, I was surprised that I was so moved by it, even when I had already known the ending. Heath Ledger, what a Damn shame, very good actor, don't test with your lives young people, seriously we are not immortal no matter what the latest vampire book tells you.

Random thought before bed...

Umm, sorry but something about knowing that Harry Potter already has chest hair is so unsettling...
Just thought I'd mention it..

Finding Love at the Met

I once made a goal that I would find a painting that resembled my image of love, this was years ago, a kind of inside joke to a friend. I have finally figured out which one it is. If you could put all I want in terms of love into one image, it would be Pierre-Auguste Cot's Springtime. I see everything I could want is in this painting, protection, trust, loyalty, free-spirit, fun, everything in this image. It is supposedly at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, I went today to look at the modern art section (my favorite), I have to make another pilgrimage their someday to actually see it in person. I love the Met. I am always excited to go in there and see live Picassos in all their styles and Van Goghs, Pollacks are so crazy and celestial I love it. Today they had Warhols that I hadn't seen up close before. Most of the wing was blocked off which was upsetting considering you spend a half hour trying to dissect the poorly labeled map and then get hopelessly lost through the maze of ancient artifacts just to get to the first round of Modern paintings. But I managed to get my fill of what I wanted to see, I bought a little journal with a beautiful 1800's tapestry replica cover to keep with me at all times. I've been keeping daily journals, I've been really good about it, I'll post the entries here every once in awhile. Maybe I'll end up being another Anais Nin someday, I love her.

I didn't have Breakfast there but it was just as fun.

Holly Golightley spoke truth when she says nothing bad can happen to you at Tiffany's. I love going there and looking at all the diamonds, my favorite floor. All the delicate displays and the lighting makes everything sparkle like stars. The third floors hold the silver which I already have two pieces, both I bought after the two recent impacts that changed my life for the better. I think it's time for a new piece.

Rehearsal is going well, we get fliers on Weds, I'm so excited for it. It's wonderful to actually be an actor in a piece and watch it grow and shape in front of your eyes. I'm already loving each and everyone of my cast members. It's going to be a great show.

Brownies and Love

So Today I apparently proclaimed it International Brownie day. I made enough Brownies to feed an entire block. Yields 24 my ass. So now I don't know what to do with them all it's so ridiculous in a yummy chocolate way. So come on down and have a brownie!



I've been thinking recently about love and falling in love. It's been quite awhile since I have had a full blown relationship. Not really for lack of trying but more for lack of focus. My entire goal was to get here and as odd as it sounds I feel like I've left something in the ways of love behind. I know not to be silly, none of the men I dated in S.D wanted a relationship and I wasn't in love with any of them. At least not in the way that I ultimately want to experience love. It's strange, I'm trying to work out in my head when I became so cynical about romance, not that I was a little girl who dreamed of her wedding day, but I still loved Disney romance stories. When did I choose to look at love and say that's a sweet thought and all but not it's not going to happen. When did I become so full of responsibility and self-made duties that I ignored my deeply romantic side? Maybe in NYC I can search for these answers, find my heart I guess you could say. Right now, I would say that that portion of my life is missing.

Beautiful Rain Shower

Today during rehearsal the sky went from light to dark. The wind started to chill from flat and hot. It was one of the most beautiful things I ever saw, I looked up from the bench and the clouds were grey spun sugar rolling in the silver color that the sky had turned. It was like a fog machine I felt like i was incased in glass bulb that smoke was being blown into. The thunder here scares me more than it does in California. It completely surrounds you and you feel it in your body. The lighting outside my window lights up my entire room. It's haunting and I sometimes wish I wasn't alone in the house. Of course the harshest storms always happen when my roommate is gone.

Awesome sight of the day!

I just saw the most awesome thing at The Strand(Bookstore) today. It was this this old 1950's paperback pulp/smut book I can't remember the title but the caption read "He learned about sex from the servants, He practiced on the girls at school and now he wants a DARKED SKINNED WOMAN!!" yes it was capitalized and underlined too. And the picture was one of those old fashioned pinup style pictures with a man with no shirt on smoking on his side in a bed looking up at a woman not unlike Gina Lollobrigida in a white half slip and bra standing in front of him with her head thrown back. That really is everything, total triple threat! I was going to take a picture but those rare book section employees watch you like hawks. I didn't buy it because it had a lot of pages missing but now it looks like ebay time for me!